Re-re-re-start…ish

Sometimes we all need a little refresh. Some time to stop and say what the hell am I doing?

And sometimes we need a little push.

Welcome back friends, and for those of you who are just joining HELLO! We are starting fresh this week and really diving back into why I started writing to begin with. The last… year and a half?… has been truly crazy. So full of ups and downs that I’m not even sure where to start.

At the beginning you say? Alrighty then. A lot of things I will deep dive into later as I take some time to think about what has gone on but here is a synopsis:

  • Work has been insane. I’m considering quitting my job in favour of a full time graphic design gig instead.
  • PATRICK. Oh jeeze. What didn’t happen there… suffice to say we are not together any more.
  • Houdini passed 😿
  • I got a puppy!
  • I moved…. and then moved again… and might move… again?
  • My family is just as messy as ever (well at least some things don’t change, right?)
  • I have a NEW SHINY BOYFRIEND!

I know, lots to dive into. All in good time, I promise. Trust I’ll be processing it right alongside all of you. There’s a ton to unpack and its far too much for a single post.

But this brings me to why I’m writing. Why now? And more importantly WHAT now?

The long and short of it is I want to get back to basics. I considered doing this in podcast format, and there may yet be a podcast spinoff of the blog, but this feels like home. Writing feels like home. It’s my favourite way to express myself and I find it the easiest way to get all my thoughts out. But this is more than just a journal of my experiences navigating the tumultuous time of my thirties. As time goes on I want to have guest writers from all walks of life who specialize in wellness, health, spirituality, finance, and entrepreneurship. My goal is to have this grow into a community of humans mentoring each other and finding our way together so no one of us is left fumbling in the dark.

So yes, it will start, and remain, a place for me to work through the craziness that has and will continue to present itself to me as I walk this path, but I hope you get something out of it too. As far as why now, I find myself at a crossroads in life in basically all major points. Relationships, career, family, mental health, and community, to name a few. And its a precipice that I have found a lot of people in my generation come to in their thirties. So lets name it and move through it together.

Now this ride won’t be for everyone, so if this isn’t for you, that’s completely fine. You’ll find the right blog for you. But if it is, hit that follow button and catch the updates as they happen. I’m going to be releasing blogs once a week on Fridays for the time being, but will be expanding the number of posts per week as time goes on. Now if you’ve stuck around this long, why don’t you hit me up in the comments and let me know what appeals to you. What do you want to hear about first? Feel free to share a bit about your story and where you’re at.

Have a great week!

Sara

Keep Calm and COVID on

So let’s address the elephant in the room. There is a pandemic going on right now that is causing many of us to self isolate. In fact, that’s probably why you’re reading this now (or you like me! You really like me!). But anyways, while caution and following instructions are important, we really aren’t in the panic stage yet. Here’s what I mean:

People all over the country are stocking up at the moment (myself included to a lesser degree) but there are some who are going to great lengths to buy up a year’s supply in toilet paper. Fairly unnecessary and leaving those of us who actually need it without. I have 2 rolls left people, this is not a drill. So how am I spending my day tomorrow? Searching all over the city to try and find some toilet paper instead of staying safe in my apartment.

Next up: the employers who aren’t covering lost wages when they are shutting down unexpectedly. Here is something that really bothers me right now. I mean, if you’re a small business that’s one thing. I can understand a little more that you wouldn’t be able to handle the losses and cover the wages. But there are several larger companies (CoughFlamesOwnershipCough) who are instead insisting that they don’t need to cover the wages but will make a strong fuss about being supported by the community when the organization needs something. This is just wrong, and more people need to speak out about this. EI isn’t going to be able to cover everyone.

Much closer to home, a lot of theatre shows are cancelling or postponing. My own show had to make the difficult decision to postpone until the fall (hopefully) to do the responsible thing and not gather people unnecessarily. Its hitting hard. People are losing work, and not a small amount with all the corporate events being cancelled globally, there is a lot of technicians and designers who are going without work. Theatre companies are looking at huge losses. If there has ever been a time to support your local artists, here it is. But the theatre community is strong in its support of each other and I have seen people step up and offer assistance to those who may not have cushions to fall back on, the gathering of information for those who may need to apply to EI, and even just lending support and strength to the administrators who are having to make such difficult calls.

Amongst all of this craziness, I have seen some truly wonderful things happen as well. From housebound citizens in Italy singing with each other to keep up morale, to people within my own community offering to help the elderly and those who have compromised immune systems stock up on groceries and run errands to avoid public transportation. People are really stepping up, and that is what keeps me thinking that things are going to be alright.

So keep calm and healthy out there.

What has been your experience with COVID-19 so far? Are there any signs of wonderful humans in your life to share? Let me know in the comments! (And as always, click like and follow the blog to get the latest. It really helps me out!)

Much love
Sara

Veggin’ out

So I’ve been a vegetarian for a long time. Like 16 years long. But I’ve never really evaluated what that means to me, or rather how far into my product and health that stretches.

Now, I’m not a vegan, and I still use honey, eat cheese, and occasionally eat eggs. But I choose not to eat gelatin (because eww). But I’ve never really investigated the prescriptions I take, or the vitamins I take. I’ve always chosen cruelty-free, and it’s something that is important to me, but how far do I take it? Do I refuse prescriptions because they have something animal based in them? Do I not take supplements for the same reason?

Now that I’m evaluating all of these things and really looking into better skin care and health strategies (see my earlier post in search of supplements) I kind of have to start thinking about where my morals lie. I still feel like cruelty free is important, but how do I work on getting extra collagen? And do I cut out capsules that are made with gelatin? I feel that prescriptions are an exception that I need to make from this as some things I just don’t have a say in. But what about the other stuff?

Twenties me would have been pretty staunch on not needing this stuff anyways and just neglected my health because of it, but I really want thirties me to give a crap about what my skin looks like, and what my health is doing. I’m definitely tired of being tired all the time.

Have some recommendations for vegan or vegetarian supplements or resources for me to start looking? Any answers to my many questions? Hit me up in the comments and let me know! And don’t forget to like and follow my blog to get the latest!

Much Love,
Sara

This is your life on Friends

Growing up, I was convinced that my twenties were going to be like Friends. Working a job, hanging with a core group of friends all the time, and chilling at our favourite coffee house. Living some kind of kooky special life where the greatest things had yet to come. Having exciting dating experiences that I would be able to laugh about with my friends.

Instead, what I got was vastly different. I worked a lot, hardly had any close girlfriends, and had a lot of weird times. There were a ton of great things that happened. I met my partner Patrick, I graduated university, I moved to a great new city, started and mostly ended a career, and now am starting a new one.

But it has definitely been nothing like I was led to believe on Friends.

Its been harder than I could have imagined. I couldn’t wait to be in my twenties when I was a teenager. That’s when things would really change and be awesome. Life would really start. But in a way it really has just been a continuation of my teens. I still have so much to learn, I still have a lot of challenges to face, and I still have so much more of life to experience.

I thought that once I was turning 30 I would be in such a different place in life. Married, kids, established career, those are the life milestones I always imagined that I would have hit by now. But being here now, I almost feel like I wasn’t even close to ready for those things by 27 or 28. Even now, I’m only just feeling ready to really entertain those things. Maybe thirties me will really be the best me. Maybe it doesn’t have to be a mourning of my twenties ending (though I can imagine there will be some drunk tears on my birthday) but rather a celebration of all that is yet to come.

Have you hit your thirties yet? Is it really all I hear? Let me know in the comments! I love hearing from you. (And as always, don’t forget to like and follow the blog to hear first when new posts go live.)

Much love,
Sara

The Progress is Real

Just be. That’s something that not many people can do. Myself included. But what would happen if we were able to do so? What if we woke up one morning and had nothing to do and were able to just be a human? Just do what feels good? Just exist in your own corner of the universe? That is something that really resonated with me from my yoga class this week. There was a time in class where we were encouraged to just move to the music that was playing, just let everything go and accept that movement feels good. And I found myself struggling to look around and see what everyone else was doing instead of just existing in that moment. And it got me thinking: when was the last time that I was able to let go and just be?

I feel like this concept really hits something deeper. Its not about just existing and floating along, but instead its about being connected and present in the moment. Taking a moment for yourself in the chaos of every day. Now I hustle with the best of them, but I’m really beginning to try and take the small moments too. Like I had been saying in my previous post, I’ve been trying to take more moments for me. And I think something that needs to play into that is my presence in this world.

It’s so easy to float along and just go through the motions. My challenge for myself, and you, is to really take up the space you deserve to take up. Instead of making myself small for the comfort of those around me, I am challenging myself to be present and real and be ME.

Meeting this challenge won’t be linear, nor will it be comfortable. Its going to have progress that will be rocky and hard, just like my wellness journey.

Speaking of my wellness efforts, I was successful and happy in all of my classes. I feel whole and sore and tired and excited for the movement forward I’ve experienced this week. And I love the fact that I’m branching out into things other than just fitness (which is a huge part of course). So something that I’m going to work on this week is meditation. In the past my meditation practice has been focused on anxiety maintenance and I’ve not been successful in being present in it, so I’m shifting gears. Being present and existing in my own light is the new aim. Mindfulness is a lot more than just a buzzword to this almost 30 girl.

How are you going to take up the space you deserve? Let me know in the comments! (And don’t forget to follow the blog to hear first when there is a new post!)

Much love
Sara

Werk it

This week is a week of health. Making healthy choices and putting to bed some baaaad excuses.

Now, I’m not afraid of hard work. I’ve worked hard at things for my whole life, but somehow I’ve never really put that same effort into making myself better. Instead of looking at it as something that is for self improvement I’ve always put so much effort into the people around me. It’s a rabbit hole that is easy to get lost in. In my early 20s I kind of viewed it as selfish to put that much energy into myself. Not just with my weight but dressing in nice clothes, finding creative outlets, or even just spending money on something for myself.

Lately, however, I’ve been learning that its equally important to put effort into myself as it is in the people I choose to surround myself with. I wouldn’t question taking half an hour to spend time with my cats, so why not spend an hour relaxing in a bath with a book? It’s not a perfect process, there are still times when I struggle to feel worthy of spending the extra time to take care of me. And that’s ok. But I need to learn to step into my light a little more (I’m a lighting designer after all!)

That’s my goal of the week. Spend some time on me and really be ok with it. Specifically making some healthy ass choices that are going to become a part of my routine going forward. Tomorrow I start my new work out routine by taking a bad ass infrared yoga class with some folks from the office, then Thursday and Sunday taking a bomb spin class with one of my favourite instructors. Now Rome wasn’t built in a day and I’m sure that this week will be a struggle as will the weeks to come, but hey. Whats a little hard work right?

On top of my exercise health, I’m starting to pay more attention to what I eat. I have some terrible eating habits, and as a vegetarian I really should be doing better. I’ve been anemic for a long time and really should take more care of that. So this week I start doing better there too. I’ve been inspired to start investigating different things like juicing and different supplements that can be used to just generally promote my health (and the nicer hair, nails and skin thing is just a great bonus).

I’m learning that being almost 30 is a blessing in disguise. So much is changing but I’m really digging this introspection that I’ve been experiencing has started to change nearly every aspect of my life. It’s so tumultuous but I’ve decided I’m going to really embrace this time in my life.

Know any amazing Canadian brands I should look out for in my search for a better me? Have some questions about how these epiphanies keep on rolling? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I’ll always answer! And don’t forget to follow my blog to get the latest updates (and find out how my work out week goes!)

Much love, Sara

In review

Holy guacamole its been a time. I’ll be better about writing here eventually, but for now here’s what’s been going on.

I just finished a tech week with the opera in town. The Barber of Seville. Ultimately its a great show and I learned a lot while doing it. Especially about who I don’t want to be as I approach 30.

See, there’s a lot of sexism in my industry. I was fortunate enough to work under a fabulous lighting designer for this show and she was so wonderful to me. However, our head of lighting is known to be at least a little sexist. At least to me and people of my age. But I had hoped he would be better behaved with someone who was a little more experienced (read: A LOT more experienced) than me. And he was, mostly. Still with the clear condescension and attitude and refusal to do certain things. Ladies you most likely have experienced behavior like this in your life and understand how frustrating it can be. Dudes, just don’t be that guy.

Above all else, the experience of the last week and a half was a good one. It’s reminded me of why I’m embracing the changes that are happening in both my personal life and career. Approaching my thirties has been a huge transition period for me, and it’s not one that I am likely to be through before the big birthday hits. Out of the tech week I’ve gained an important mentor who has in a way given me validation to work in the way I have been moving. Working with Eos has been incredible in a lot of ways but it’s been really hard to admit that it means moving away from theatre as my primary form of income. But speaking with Kim I’ve almost been given permission to take my time with Eos as it comes and enjoy it. It’s challenging work but also creative and most importantly flexible enough to allow me to continue in theatre part time.

The problem is, I’ve been hustling for so long I don’t know how to stop and settle in to a routine. But I also don’t want to be so exhausted all the time I can’t enjoy life. I don’t want to be so busy that I miss the important days in life. And I don’t want to lose myself to work.

Do you know what I mean? What are you looking forward to in the next week? Drop a comment below and let me know!

A Beginning

I’m inspired.

I have been listening to a podcast and I was reminded that the things I have been experiencing aren’t unusual but definitely aren’t talked about enough. I am on the precipice of being 30, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. So I’ve decided to write this blog. As I figure it out, hopefully someone will read along and commiserate my experiences.

The long and short of my introduction is this: I am 29, Canadian (yeah CANADA!) and work full time at an architectural lighting company. Or that’s what I tell people because its easier to explain than “a lighting and audiovisual experience design and integration” company. Seriously. Say that 5 times fast. In my spare time I try to see friends and make new ones because having moved to a new city 4 years ago I am learning that I haven’t integrated into actually living here as well as I should. Or could.

Twenties me thought she had everything figured out. Had the perfect relationship, was in the perfect city for me, was going to have kids by the time I was 30 and be happily married by then as well. Well almost 30 me is learning very quickly that I literally have nothing figured out. My relationship is rocky (yep still the same one) but we’re working on it. I’ve got no kids yet, am not married, but I still feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. There has been a lot to let go of in the last few years and even more that I will have to learn to accept and not only that but thrive with if I’m going to survive this transition from my twenties to my thirties.

So welcome to me. To the ride of my life so far. And cheers to figuring it out!