Oh Tarot My Tarot

I recently picked up a tarot card deck. Its been an interesting journey to start. I am still just learning about it but I was turned onto the concept through conversation with my best friend, as well as listening to my favourite podcast. As many of you will know I’ve been listening to the Almost 30 Podcast a lot lately, and it has inspired me to explore a lot of things both spiritually and as lifestyle changes.

So I’ve been reading the cards every day. Sometimes multiple times a day about different things. I haven’t had the courage to do a reading for anyone else yet. There are so many meanings for each of the cards. And I have so much more to learn.

All of this leans into the fact that I am trying really hard to work more intuitively within my life. Listening to what my body and soul are telling me. It’s easier said than done. Definitely easier said than done. But here we are and I’m trying my absolute best to flex that intuitive muscle.

And so I continue with the tarot cards. Slowly learning the meanings, both the standard and the inverted, hopefully getting to the point eventually where I don’t need the guidebook anymore except for with the rare cards. I keep having the 2 of swords come up in my readings, and I am trying to learn what that means in the broader sense. I understand the meaning of the card, but what does that mean for me. It is a card that is blinded by the unknown, and I know that I struggle with the unknown in my every day life. Maybe it has something to do with that. Either way, I’m discovering a lot about myself by reading my cards, and am recognizing that even at thirty, I still have a long way to go.

Love is Blind, But I’m Not – A Netflix Review

Recently I finished the first season of Love is Blind on Netflix. I’m a little late to the game but I have some feelings about the show, as a concept and the season itself.

Off the get go, I wasn’t sure I was going to buy into the whole premise of the show. I mean, you take a bunch of people, put them in pods to talk to each other, how deep are they actually going to go? And on top of that, why would any of them follow through with the weddings. It’s like The Bachelor but everyone wears blindfolds and straight jackets. But if there is one thing that Netflix knows how to do, its how to create a supremely bingeable TV show. I made it through the first episode, saw the “coming up this season” section and I was HOOKED!

Now full disclosure, I finished the season in 3 days. There is something that goes missing when you’re bingeing a show and you definitely don’t get quite as emotionally invested, but it still got me in the feels hard when we got to the weddings episode. And those CLIFFHANGERS! I mean, way to make me lose 4 hours Netflix. Of course I want to watch the next episode.

Winding it back a bit, I certainly thought that Carlton was hella full of himself the whole way through the pods. Major toolbag. But I definitely didn’t think he deserved to be treated so badly by Diamond when she confronted him the morning after his big reveal. I thought he was courageous in telling her about his sexuality and really made himself vulnerable in a way that wasn’t otherwise seen. That said, boy, watch your mouth and don’t call a woman a bitch in any way unless you’re ready to feel the wrath.

Did anyone else feel that the girls that they got on the show were gorgeous but the guys were mostly average looking? Like don’t get me wrong, there was something conventionally attractive about each of them, but none of them were wow’s for me. Just me? 🤷‍♀️

Now, my favourite couple hands down was Cameron and Lauren. When they got married, I teared up and cheered. I was rooting for them the whole time. I loved everything about them and loved how they communicated their way through all the little things that could have massively tripped them up. But the big thing I think is they both BOUGHT IN. They were in it right from the start and weren’t playing any games. Refreshing right?

Now, as far as the show itself, I thought there were a couple major things that left me with questions. Now my friend Braden likened the show to basically arranged marriage, and I disagree. The reason for that is that I feel that there was a high degree of choice to the show. No one had to accept a proposal, and no one was told that there was one right guy for them in the group. That said, I can see how someone could come to that conclusion. I felt like it cheapened the experience to have the Mexico trip be heavily relied upon to deepen the relationship in the way we all know they meant. Sex. But there can be more of a physical bond even without sex. It isn’t the only part of a physical attraction that is important for a relationship to be successful. I really felt this was where Jessica had it right not to jump into that part of the physical right away and try to let it happen naturally.

There were so many cringey moments that were captured, like any good reality TV show, but that just made it more intoxicating to keep watching. Like sitting there saying “no way he didn’t just say that” and watching on to see how it ends up. And yes Netflix, I am almost always still watching. Especially now. So can we please ease off the judgey reminders?

What did you think of the show? Haven’t watched it yet? I definitely recommend it! As always, hit that like button if you like what you’re reading and want more of it, and follow the blog if you want to keep up with the latest posts!

Much love

The Romance Shift

This week I’ve been reflecting on relationships. Not just the romantic ones, but the friendships too (more on those later). As far as romantic relationships go, however, I’m what my friends have called a serial monogamist. I like being in a committed relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally happy on my own too (found that ability in my twenties), but there’s something really nice about having a partner in crime. But as I approach my thirties, I’m a little startled to see that the way I approach relationships, and how I exist in them, has changed in a big way.

In my early twenties I viewed a romantic relationship as something exciting yet comfortable. I was constantly in search of the “puppy love” phase but I also thought that it was important for me to be in a relationship constantly. I thought that was the big goal in life. You get in a relationship, fall in love, and then get married and your life really begins.

It seemed like a pretty linear way of living life. You go right from point A to B to C. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. If life worked like that, I always thought that I would be set and would hit all those milestones that I expected to hit by the time I was thirty. And maybe that works out for some people, but it certainly hasn’t worked that way for me.

Instead, I am finding relationships to be complex things where some days you fly and everything fits perfectly, but other times it feels like you’re working through every trauma of your past to get to the future you both want. It’s wonderful to have a partner beside you working for the same goals and striving for the same level of excellence. Its working through the fights to see the sun on the other side instead of calling it quits at the first sign of trouble. It’s trusting that the other person has your back when you may not have your own.

And I’m learning that life doesn’t begin and end because you’re in a relationship or not. Life is what happens around you as you choose your path, whether you have someone making footprints beside you or not. I’m learning that relationships don’t define who you are as a person but you are who define you and the relationship should compliment that. And that’s both empowering and frightening at the same time. It means that I have to decide who I am, even in a long term relationship.

Now those who know me know I’ve been with my partner since my early-ish twenties, so a lot of this learning has been done with him by my side. We have grown together and faced more than our fair share of bumps along the way. And things are complicated because of the amount of growing we’ve done together and separately. That growth hasn’t always been at the same rate or at the same time. But still we choose each other. And thats powerful.

I’m learning that relationships aren’t what happens when two people see each other in the right place at the right time, but rather that it is when two people choose each other every single day, despite all the other stuff that could get in the way. And when you stop choosing each other, that’s when the relationship ends, not when things get hard. And I’m learning that some days the odds are stacked against you, and others its a windfall in your favour. It’s rarely something in between.

What is your favourite thing to learn about your partner? How has your view on relationships changed over the years? Let me know in the comments! And don’t forget to like the post and follow to find out when I post next.

Much love

Veggin’ out

So I’ve been a vegetarian for a long time. Like 16 years long. But I’ve never really evaluated what that means to me, or rather how far into my product and health that stretches.

Now, I’m not a vegan, and I still use honey, eat cheese, and occasionally eat eggs. But I choose not to eat gelatin (because eww). But I’ve never really investigated the prescriptions I take, or the vitamins I take. I’ve always chosen cruelty-free, and it’s something that is important to me, but how far do I take it? Do I refuse prescriptions because they have something animal based in them? Do I not take supplements for the same reason?

Now that I’m evaluating all of these things and really looking into better skin care and health strategies (see my earlier post in search of supplements) I kind of have to start thinking about where my morals lie. I still feel like cruelty free is important, but how do I work on getting extra collagen? And do I cut out capsules that are made with gelatin? I feel that prescriptions are an exception that I need to make from this as some things I just don’t have a say in. But what about the other stuff?

Twenties me would have been pretty staunch on not needing this stuff anyways and just neglected my health because of it, but I really want thirties me to give a crap about what my skin looks like, and what my health is doing. I’m definitely tired of being tired all the time.

Have some recommendations for vegan or vegetarian supplements or resources for me to start looking? Any answers to my many questions? Hit me up in the comments and let me know! And don’t forget to like and follow my blog to get the latest!

Much Love,

A Beginning

I’m inspired.

I have been listening to a podcast and I was reminded that the things I have been experiencing aren’t unusual but definitely aren’t talked about enough. I am on the precipice of being 30, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. So I’ve decided to write this blog. As I figure it out, hopefully someone will read along and commiserate my experiences.

The long and short of my introduction is this: I am 29, Canadian (yeah CANADA!) and work full time at an architectural lighting company. Or that’s what I tell people because its easier to explain than “a lighting and audiovisual experience design and integration” company. Seriously. Say that 5 times fast. In my spare time I try to see friends and make new ones because having moved to a new city 4 years ago I am learning that I haven’t integrated into actually living here as well as I should. Or could.

Twenties me thought she had everything figured out. Had the perfect relationship, was in the perfect city for me, was going to have kids by the time I was 30 and be happily married by then as well. Well almost 30 me is learning very quickly that I literally have nothing figured out. My relationship is rocky (yep still the same one) but we’re working on it. I’ve got no kids yet, am not married, but I still feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. There has been a lot to let go of in the last few years and even more that I will have to learn to accept and not only that but thrive with if I’m going to survive this transition from my twenties to my thirties.

So welcome to me. To the ride of my life so far. And cheers to figuring it out!